Summer and Fall

This is from 2005 or 2006. I was thinking about the mess my college days pretty much were. Makes for a decent story maybe.

Summer’s end alone in her room
She laid her head on my chest and
Asked me what I wanted to do
So I lied and said we should try
I knew this was a mistake
My heart beating so fast
So afraid this was a give away
But I was right
It was wrong
-
It was a warm fall that year
One hot day I wished we were still together
I would see her around looking happy
We used to be perfect
She knew just how to kiss
Would I ever fall in love again?
It never felt right after that
There was always something
They liked me too much
Or not enough
I wanted to get more serious
I couldn’t just have fun
I felt guilty for what I was doing
Or what I had done
But I was hung up
And right the first time
It was wrong
-
Every summer after that
A relationship would fall apart
Every fall I would try to make something start
But we could have been perfect
If she just knew how to kiss
Could I ever fall in love again?
It should be easy to move on
I used to think that
I could fall in love with anyone
Anybody I saw a picture of
Falling in love is being loved, right?
It’s something that happens, like a storm
I used to hide notes in her room
But it was me that needed convincing
Then, again, something’s gone
I was right all along
It was wrong
-
I vowed to keep searching
Until I found the right place
But I did not even want to replace you anyway
-
Summer’s end in her room again