THE SLEEPY SHADE CLEARING HOUSE OF NOODELS

Of Hell and Who Tells It

2011-03-03T11:04:00.000-08:00

It seems a much harder phone call for you

This horrible call as you make a point to refer to it as

Yet I know exactly why you say so

I answer though I know there will never be

Enough time

There never was

Never will be for anyone

Anywhere anytime ever

There is just not enough time

There isn’t

So five minutes is an eternity or a vanishing noise

It is hell for you and I know it

Nothing makes the sense it used to

And it needs to

I have known that myself to an extent

I need to write you a really long or short letter

That depends I guess

On if you get mail

But you only sent mail

To yourself

Now you are writing yourself back

Everyday

All the time

For any reason

So you need to share with whomever will listen

It is hell and everyone knows it

We, and I say we because

We can’t understand it

The way you do

The way

You can be cavalier like a dying knight

You can be vulnerable like a nominee

You can be hard like a outdated gangster

You can be less and less like the friend i once knew

You ask for my time

But I feel like I am giving you yours

On Collisions

2011-02-23T20:26:00.000-08:00

its such a small world

sometimes things run over you

it just can take all that you can do

it is not that i mind

its really not, i just noticed that

i know every one they’re talking about

i would never say well

oh i know him from this because

he’s with my soon to be ex wife

it just doesn’t matter

to them or me or any one involved

it just brings small worlds real close

together

right there

but no one knows

or would say

i feel the small worlds

i feel the things it does to me

i want to make it mean something

but i’m doing better

much better than i was before.

a year ago it was your birthday

at two weeks before mine

i forget each time to say anything

until you explain your hangover

but you are my friend

the kind that gives and receives

the remains of all that one can do

together

right there

but no one knows

or would say

Sweater Vest

2011-02-14T14:15:00.000-08:00

I wear this sweater vest
Because it makes me feel like
Paul McCartney
In those Apple billboards and
On the liner notes of the White Album

He looks so determined
Staring down over the world
Or reclining in the control room
To appear hard working
Excessively ambitious
Over achieving to a fault
The working man
Screw you John, he seems to say
Keep up old chap
If you can

So I wear it to keep me
Thinking that I too
Am hard working and prolific
In control and the envy of
My contemporaries
If only, but still

I think I look creative in it
I feel like I am about to
Produce some pop classic
Right there in front of
The mirror or at the train stop
Especially with my sleeves
Rolled up to the elbow

Nothing says hard work
More than that...
Perhaps with a tie

Cut

2010-12-09T11:34:00.000-08:00

I cut myself

While I was chopping vegetables

Making a dish

To serve to some friends

The blood ran out

All over the cutting board

Deep red on the counter

And onto the floor

Later in the evening as we lost track of the wine

I thought about my injury

My left hand bleeding inside the bandage

I couldn’t help with the dishes

It was years ago

I stepped on a glass

At the top of the stairs

In the middle of the night

But I just went to bed

Because I was too high to drive

The same in the morning

So I got a ride

I had told this to a friend of mine

She complained that I was lazy

That I should just take the pain

Or I should try having a baby

It was late one summer

She was on my handle bars

I hit a patch of gravel

And she flew through the air

We made it back

I picked the gravel out of her knees

Then gave her head

As she bled on the sheets

We would later drift apart

I said I wanted a career

It was likely something else

In my head that I could not hear

It was early spring

And I was so lonely

I would have done anything

For someone to hold

I met her through friends

We finger danced the watusi

It started out great

But by fall she had left me

I have often looked back on this

As the time I lost my heart

The one who I thought I loved so much

Only liked the beginning part

Disassociation Blues

2010-09-23T11:36:00.000-07:00

I’m generous with myself

Who else will be

If I stumble, I will correct

There is no one more involved

With myself than me

No one else will

If I should mumble, I understand

If I become humble

I am there to elevate

Alas, I will do nothing for myself

In the regard of betterment

That is unknown, or such that

There is no internal progress

Just some more of the same

Working unbroken unfixed

Un-needing of adjustment or refitting

Like I said

I’m generous with myself

Roads

2010-09-09T11:22:00.000-07:00

I would never discard the time that we spend

It is the reward that justifies the end

Sometimes I long for the days of Varangian

To see how it all began

But it can be hard sometimes to square a delay

It seems that there’s more vacation than corvee

I wish that there was a more direct throughway

But then that’s the state of transport today

WAIT!

- -

The passage suffers from the excess of empire

The passage is victim to the theft of a trespasser

The passage is injured by the surplus of couriers

The passage cries from despair!

But you tell me and the travelers in your care

That you’d be happy to just be

Sacred, untraded, undivided

Are you telling me and the rest of your rade

That you are content to forget

Tresaguet, Telford, McAdams

Don’t tell me or anyone else

That you’d rather be untouched, undisturbed, and underfed

You tell me that you are the victim

You tell everyone your pain is more important

Than the destination

When it is your own capacity

That you can’t seem to attend to

- -

You’re not suggesting that you are not to blame

Or maybe that you could not have helped these floods that

Are now, by your own account

Out of your control

Are you suggesting that something else makes you divine

Or that you can’t support any traffic until everything is better

Though by your own account

Is something you need controlled

It’s all better now

Everything is fine

I can do it now it’s gonna be alright

I am a half full kind of road

It was bad now it’s bright

I knew one day it would change overnight

Don’t take stones for granted

Don’t forget to pave it twice

You might find them skipping above you

You can hide for today

You might go away

But the stars will continue to shine

Maybe it’s perfect and

All just more of the same

It’s like, I’m used to it and it doesn’t need changing

To which whom you speak

Or what you don’t ask

Excuses are as easy as stringing daisies

Waiting for it to slow down

So that you can catch it

It’s never going to be that way

SPECIAL BURDEN

2010-06-21T11:35:00.000-07:00

I'M GREEDY, OH, I'M SO GREEDY
BUT I DON’T WANT YOU TO HELP ME
I AM ALRIGHT WITH MY BURDEN, IT’S MY BURDEN
(AND YOU CAN’T TAKE IT)

I BEEN THINKING, MAN, I BEEN THINKING
BUT I DON’T NEED NOTHING FROM ANYBODY
IM ALRIGHT WITH MY BURDEN
AND THE BLUES THEY CONVENIENTLY PROVIDE

I'M LISTING, HOW I AM LISTENING
BUT I DON’T NEED ANY FRIENDS FOR ANYTHING
FOR NOTHING
OR ANYTHING
LEAVE IT
I’M GOOD
I’LL BE FINE WITH MY
AUTOMATIC SELF IMPOSED SORRY ASS BURDEN BLUES

I'M GREEDY, I'M SO NEEDY
I KEEP LOOKING AT WHATS EMPTY
BUT I’LL FILL IT, YES I’LL FILL IT
WITH MY HOME MADE FRONT PAGE NEWS

I'M INTERESTED SO INTERESTED
I'M FEELING SO FRUSTRATED
BUT I’LL FIX IT AND SOFOCATE IT
WITH THIS BRAND NEW BURDEN

Summer and Fall

2010-06-08T11:56:00.000-07:00

This is from 2005 or 2006. I was thinking about the mess my college days pretty much were. Makes for a decent story maybe.

Summer’s end alone in her room
She laid her head on my chest and
Asked me what I wanted to do
So I lied and said we should try
I knew this was a mistake
My heart beating so fast
So afraid this was a give away
But I was right
It was wrong
-
It was a warm fall that year
One hot day I wished we were still together
I would see her around looking happy
We used to be perfect
She knew just how to kiss
Would I ever fall in love again?
It never felt right after that
There was always something
They liked me too much
Or not enough
I wanted to get more serious
I couldn’t just have fun
I felt guilty for what I was doing
Or what I had done
But I was hung up
And right the first time
It was wrong
-
Every summer after that
A relationship would fall apart
Every fall I would try to make something start
But we could have been perfect
If she just knew how to kiss
Could I ever fall in love again?
It should be easy to move on
I used to think that
I could fall in love with anyone
Anybody I saw a picture of
Falling in love is being loved, right?
It’s something that happens, like a storm
I used to hide notes in her room
But it was me that needed convincing
Then, again, something’s gone
I was right all along
It was wrong
-
I vowed to keep searching
Until I found the right place
But I did not even want to replace you anyway
-
Summer’s end in her room again

Stolen Phrases

2010-06-08T08:44:00.001-07:00

To prove I’m sorry
Get dressed in wine
Secrets without replies
History devolved itself
My objection was silent
Loose lips sink ships
Ghosts in your eyes

Know every fence
With December in mind
New arrival, the federal style
You were always good for a rhyme

Subject Unknown

2010-06-07T12:42:00.000-07:00

I had to walk miles, miles
In this terrible sunlight
To make sure you knew
Where I was before
-
I had to write ten letters, count them
With this broken pencil
To let you know
That no one knows for sure
-
I had to call you a million times, or more
On this dated cellphone
To ask you to meet me
At your own front door
-
I had to make my voice so quiet, so focused
In the most silent of rooms
Just to see if you really get
Why my feet are so sore

An Historically Accurate Recreation of How I Remembered Your Full Name

2010-06-01T19:50:00.000-07:00

But so I had to pull over
To remember your name
You wanted me to pull over
It was you that asked me to pull over
Calling you by your full name
I am calling you by your full name
Can you hear me
Calling you by your full name
-
Yes, I am making homemade coffee spritzer
Well it may taste aweful now
But just wait, it will get better
You will see and be asking me how
It’s so easy, conversation techniques
That you can drink
Now here on the side of the road
There seems to be no, or some, hope
That we can fill in the blank again
You and me in this life together
If could only remember your full name
Your full name, so that I may call it
-
With your black suit glowing under
The cabin light I feel drawn to speak
About the infinite future, ours
But your full name eludes
Your full name refuses
Your full name confuses
Your full name concludes
That your full name is all I can think of
I want to call you by your full name
-
Subdued, I am, by the ocean’s roar
By the tankers rolling on
Pushing water on the shore
One after another in this dead of night
With each rumble of the pavement
Shaking the car I finally see
That the reason we stopped
Was to revere what the coffee stain foretold
On the armrest fold
In the light of the moon
Like chalk dust on every surface
Sprawling and messy, random and permanent
A wise stain it was
Brought to us both here in this car
Where your full name eludes me
-
And we slept….
As we slept
I watched the spider
Spin her web
Between the head rest and
The child seat belt strap
So I rolled the window down

Please Don’t Die Lil Wayne

2010-05-28T00:11:00.000-07:00

We are not the same
I, from Lafayette
You, of New Orleans fame
But please don’t die
Don’t die Lil Wayne

We are not the same
I, from earth
You, from some martian plane
But please don’t die
Don’t die Lil Wayne

And Lil Wayne sings:
I wanna make you cream
In your fake dirty jeans
Lil Wayne sings: ..., ….

Bedtime Story (December 2004)

2010-05-26T09:05:00.000-07:00

On the night when the moon said “no”

Someone else said why can’t we all go

Up the hill by the top of the bay

Where the falls begin and the fish stay

That very night all the stars spoke

Everything hushed as the tide broke

Fish jumped over the whale’s hump

Frogs croaked on a tree stump

Safe and tightly curled

And all was well with the world

On the night when the sun said “go”

Silence fell across the globe

From the east where the mountains reach high

To the valley where the trees are shy

All wondered what was going on

Then it became dark all around

The crickets woke up from their naps

The deer licked the spots right off their backs

Safe and tightly curled

But all was right in the world

That was the same day the sea said “oh”

Someone said it happened long ago

It was up to the moon to pull you in

It fell on the sand to push back again

Not long before the stars fell

On their way down, they wished you well

We watched them fall on fire to break

Over land and sea, our souls at stake

Safe and tightly curled

Still, all was right in the world

December in Charlotte (December 2006)

2010-05-25T15:20:00.000-07:00

It usually rains

I’d never seen it snow

In Charlotte

In December

Before Mr. Cobain

Decided to go away

I spent Christmas day

In Charlotte

I had ridden up with Tom Tretheway who continued on.

I was seeing a girl from Metairie but thought I was in love with a girl from Baton Rouge.

I stayed up all night trying to write a song in minor c.

It snowed that year.

We ate gumbo out of the same bowls we ate from when we were in grade school.

December

In charlotte

With the snow on the ground

Not covering up too much

The way I felt

Was not distracted

By the snow on the ground

My sister and I got high

On the back porch after lunch

Then walked in from the back

Of the strip mall cinema

To see a movie

About Geronimo

Geronimo was an honest man

He believed that other people were honest too

Miles just kept throwing new people for him to trust

But it killed him and a bunch of his family too

And they lost all their land

Why did I leave?

Why did I want to leave?

A mother I loved had a tendency to smother you with her own shit.

She didn’t have an outlet

Her creativity was crafts and kind of pre-made parts stuff

She glued impressionist prints to matt board and covered every wall

Late one night I dusted and straightened the miniature prints in cheap frames in the bathroom.

I hope she noticed.

I drank all of her crown royal each visit, I don’t really like crown royal.

She did not know how to be sad and be OK with it.

Sometimes sad can produce something beautiful

Sometimes sad can give you something in common

Sometimes sad is just melancholy unnoticed for a little too long

Sometimes sad isn’t the worst thing to be

Sometimes sad needs to run along till its tired

She thought sad was weakness

She thought weakness made you lonely

She’d rather distract herself and pretend

She never used her imagination

She thought you should never be alone

She was afraid to be alone

Sad and alone is weak

She would rather not be alone any matter who she had to be with

She had space to fill, she filled it up

She wanted to fill it up, she filled it up

Us kids only filled up so much, no security

Besides we had our own lives to lead and it left a gap

No security in her terms

The gap to be filled up in any way

The best Decembers for me was when she was alone

She had to use us to get filled up

We would have come to see her anyway

But we got more because of the loneliness, we were lonely too

I think we all did great at being alone together

Drinking, being alone, getting a little more alone on my own after bedtime

I left to follow my own solution to loneliness

I left because I wanted to want the impossible

It was impossible to want who I wanted, desire beyond my capacity

Desire beyond thinking it through, desire for one

Wanting love without knowing how to love

Wanting a love that decimates loneliness

A love that cuts it down

A love that somehow changes you

Changes your desire to be lonely, alters your being

Makes you not value being alone anymore

Makes you give up your self

Impossible

I wanted to be alone with that desire

To make the desire more felt by not pursuing it

Now isn’t that alone?

My sister told mom about her run in with the law

A bong in the back seat of her Honda in a state park

It’s not such a big deal in Louisiana, but it will get you

Then she asked me about it

I said I had never gotten caught

She just asked how much it cost

I said I got it from friends, so not a lot

She asked about the smell, can’t everybody tell?

I stood outside the screen door and told her about how it felt

I took the train back

On New Year’s Eve

Mom and I drove around town

To try to buy a fifth of whiskey for the ride home

December in charlotte

With snow on the ground

Not really covering much of anything

All the stuff in my head still there

I’m just left with my breath in the air

Saga of a Saga

2010-05-25T15:01:00.000-07:00

This was maybe written in 1997? about a random party in Wicker Park. I found this on an old disc and did not think I wrote it at first, but it slowly came back to me.

Warm Beer

I was at a party

The other night

Having a few beers

When I became

Trapped for

Damn near an hour and a half

I didn’t actually want to hear a

Lengthy explanation

But it seems like someone

She knew or used to

But not very well

Had borrowed some item

Or garment

Or kitchen appliance about

Five or so years back

And then someone

Moved somewhere

With the previously

Mentioned mystery item

It had to do with a boat

A bike or some other

Outdated mode of transportation

Nobody knows why this is important

But I am hearing it

So a distant uncle or grandmother

Finds a postcard post-dated

Ten years ago which contained

An image of the previously mentioned

Mystery item

My beer was totally warm

They Are Comfortable

2010-05-24T17:36:00.000-07:00

When they are in the air, they are comfortable

It’s in the air that we breathe
Its creeping out
It’s not that you watch what you say
It’s seeping out
If you understand what I mean
You’d be freaking out

London disco
San Francisco
Squirrel babies
Cats with rabies

And the molecules are dispersed
White syrofoam dust escaping
Upwards to the sky
And the nostrils and the lungs

Up to the sky, they are comfortable
Happy and content, they are comfortable

Happy and content
To block the light, the vitamins, the life
That the molecules so love to have

In our stead, they are comfortable
Up in the sky, they are comfortable.

Drunken Suite

2010-05-24T17:35:00.001-07:00

I. What is a Manifold

I’ve heard tell

That they hold stuff

Just new stuff

Maybe, if we need them to

And all

They could be full of good stuff

But I still don’t actually know

What they are

Manifolds

Microphones

What good are any of them

If you

Haven’t electricity

II. Electricity

In my wall

Light my hall

Do noting

Or everything

Depending on

The will of

You all

Electricity

You are

The thing that

Makes it all

Possible

But does

Nothing at all

III. Nothing

Nothing

Or everything

No one can decide

Like a switch

Or a witch

Depending on who’s side

If nothing, then go

If something, then so

It is

It was

It could

And should

Would be.

IV. Something

Something

Is what is

Or could be

But was

It exists

Punch it hard

And make it mad

Stroke it softly

And don’t make it sad

Look at it in passing

And know it is there

Something

Something is in the air

V. Air

The air

Your air, my air

It is just simply everywhere

You and me

Share the air

Well ok

Well alright

If so, then it must be

All must live

We all must be careful

What we breathe

Clean Living, Ode to the Average

2010-05-24T14:30:00.000-07:00

I don’t want to be perfect

Just maybe not so bad

Don’t want to be hurtful

Maybe a little stiff backed

Don’t mean to be verbose

Just used the words that I had

I don’t want to live forever

Just until the right amount of time

Don’t want to get dressed up

I just want to look alright

Don’t want to get messed up

Just want a bottle of wine

Given to flaws I have in this life

Such as it is that I have to try to try

In fact no, I do not want all that much

I want just enough

How to Write a Song Like a Pro

2010-05-24T13:49:00.000-07:00

It starts with a statement

Then a comparison

And then a conclusion

Next you move to an illusion

Then something opposite of the first statement

And how it is just like you, the singer

A river in the valley of the mind

It is like pouring water on a rainy day

Or simply running in place

It looks like a mirage on the highway

Or like the ghost in the kitchen

When I am drinking milk on a summer day

The ghost is thirsty, just like me

The chorus is the name of a state

Or a city but don’t rush into it

Just use one word though

Back up lines to reveal

Maybe an adverb or a noun

It can be anything I guess

You are making it up as you go

Thirsty—I heard you are supposed to water your mind

Thirsty—don’t stay up too late to be kind

Thirsty—I like to think I am half full

Thirsty—You can’t buy the time you are hoping to find

Use this time while some music is played

To pull something out of the beginning

To make a clever bridge

Try a funny chord or something to set it apart

I achieve this by just playing it wrong

It can be nice and there are many options

But you need a bridge

It is important

Build it with concepts

One on another

Like bricks in a courtyard

Opposing fast wordplay

Contradictions, retorts

Makes you think doesn’t it

(actually write the bridge thingy)

It ends with a question

And a sudden quick answer

Then you doubt your assessment

And posit another

But you really had it right the first time

So leave it at that

And admit that you are really the chorus

But what it is really

Is it just some water and rocks

Or is it the earth packed beneath it

That holds it all up

Or the air stretched above it

That pushes it flat to the sea

No, it’s just the water and rocks

Everything else is just thirsty like me

Hotel Napkin Poem from Richmond, VA 2006

2010-05-24T13:12:00.000-07:00

The Formula

I have made up a new formula

It is in my interest that it was conceived

To this end I do implore

That it remain concealed

If you try to steal this grand formula

I would just claim it wasn’t mine at all

I would simply think myself up another one

Fantastically more effective than before

But, I would then steal your formula

If it was left perhaps unguarded in your home

So keep yours safely watched

Lest I glom it for my own

You may hear me speak about my own formula

At great length with no details being revealed

So as to be left wondering

If my assertions are indeed for real

Ok, this is my formula

You may take it for what it is

Now that you have seen this formula

Please tell me what it means

some 2007 stuff

2010-05-24T13:01:00.000-07:00

I’m Not Saying

Saying I’m not going to try to change your mind

Really means I would like to

If I wasn’t so overcautious

About respecting your judgment

Saying I’m not going to tell you what to do

Really means I probably would

If I didn’t want to

Sound controlling of your actions

Saying I don’t want to say that you are wrong

Really means I would have done it differently

If I could have known then

How big a mess this would become

I really want to change your mind

I think you are out of line

But I don’t want to hurt your pride

You are just seeing some other side

It would be just one more opinion of mine

Just another ladder to climb

And I know I don’t like how it feels

But then we just dig in our heels

I know I can’t change your mind

Which does no good until next time

Instead it’s off to a wrong start

Our views so far apart

The Long View

2010-05-24T12:31:00.000-07:00

Mother Bat

(Based on an African folk tale)

I remember when the world was getting bigger

Now it is getting smaller

And no one remembers anything important

There used to be dancing and functions

Men courted and asked permission

Days of ceremony and tradition

Promises made were kept

I remember when time was a premium

Now time is a product

There is no getting ready, you get dressed

No one goes swimming, they get wet

There is no more real gambling, you just bet

So much for dining, it’s just the check

I remember roses and candles

Walking without sandals

Now the beach is gravel

I remember when the moon wasn’t so thin

You could still wish on it

I remember when the world was getting bigger

Now it is getting smaller

And no one remembers anything important

Naked Highway, the song

2009-09-09T09:43:00.000-07:00

Hello,
I did this song over the past week in pieces. It started with a drum track with i808 and a mini orange amp. Then I played over myself using an Olympus voice recorder. From there I ran that through a four track so I could put the drum machine track on. It has a sort of erie sound that seems to work to get the idea across. The top string is dropped to B which makes it sounds like there is a bass, but there is not.

The song is about a small aluminum boat that was lost and then found after Rita. I found this story about it in a Lafayette magazine provided by the Holiday Inn by the airport. There is a whole concept record to go along with this--this was supposed to be the last song.

Here are the words:

Naked Highway (Dance of the Cane Knife)

(*)
It’s not a gada da vida
Nor is it for locusts either
The tide did turn not for the better
As I fly up into the weather
My love lies over the ocean
Which then turned to poison potion
With no witch found to have mixed it
Just the gulf that helped to sling it

And I did a little dance in the rain over the road
(**)
Now I know what I got since it’s gone
My joy, my weekend fun
Recovered now after four days
Rushing down the old two lane

And I did a little dance in the middle of the road
Waved my cane knife in the air just for show
(***)
This story has a life of its own
Thank thee now for what it’s shown
Gave hope to those who’ve been overthrown
Tell everyone I have ever known
I only knew what I had after it was gone
My prize, my summer sun
Recovered now after four days
On the shoulder of this old highway

So I did a little dance in the middle of the road
Waved my cane knife in the air just for show
Did a rebel yell and I lit myself a smoke
While I did a little dance in the middle of the road

Thanks!
Sleepy